Dating Relationships - How Do You Know When You're Officially Dating Someone

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Dating Relationships - How Do You Know When You're Officially Dating Someone?

Lots of relationships go through that stage where at least one person doesn't really know if you're dating, you're just getting to know one another or if you're just friends. That's the worst part in any relationship. Especially if one person wants the dating relationship to be exclusive and they don't know where the other person stands. So, how do you know if you're in a dating relationship? It's easy.

Talk About Your Dating and Relationship Goals

If, after a few weeks of dating you haven't had any dating relationship discussions, it's time. A "DTR" (Determine the Relationship) discussion might be in order. Women tend to want to know where they are in the relationship. And men should know that if you don't discuss it, women will make assumptions, particularly if you have sex. The best way to clear up any and all questions is to sit down and talk about it. Things to talk about it include:

*Where do you want the dating relationship to go? Is it long-term, short-term or casual? Are you friends with benefits and that's it? *Are you in an exclusive dating relationship? Do you want to be? *What are you relationship boundaries -- and will they change depending on whether or not you're exclusive? *Talk about your sexual history, how you feel about dating, dating exclusively and friends with benefits.

Complicating the Relationship

Sex will complicate the dating relationship. Some people will assume that when they have sex, they're dating, they're exclusive, it's official, the end. Other people will assume that if nothing's been said, they're just having a casual, sexual relationship and that's it. Honestly, if you're not in an exclusive dating relationship, either hold off on sex or assume you're friends with benefits.

A Word to the Wise

Don't assume. Everyone knows what happens when you assume, and in a dating relationship, it can be particularly problematic. Just because you're making out or physically and sexually involved does not mean that they other person considers you to be in an exclusive relationship. He or she might be sharing in a similar dating relationship with someone else, or be looking for someone else. If you've not discussed it, you have no way of knowing.

Women: Just because you had sex with someone or went out on a couple of dates does not mean you're exclusively dating, nor does it mean he's your boyfriend. If you're concerned, talk about it. If you want to make the relationship exclusive, or be sure that he's feeling the same way, talk about it. That's the only way you'll know for sure.

Men: If you don't talk to the women you're dating (as in going on dates with), you might assume you're getting to know one another or just messing around, but she might introduce you as her boyfriend. If that happens, talk about it with her one way or the other. If you want to be exclusive, tell her. If you're not interested in pursuing a dating relationship with her, tell her that (but do it gently).

Making the Relationship Decision After you've talked about your dating relationship goals and decided where you are and where you want to go, you have to decide what that means to you.

*Is the dating relationship heading where you want it to go? *If you're not exclusive, are you okay with the other person going on dates with other people? *Does it look like the relationship will be healthy for you?

Decide if you're in or out, especially if you've decided not to be exclusive. Making your dating decisions now can save you a lot of pain later.

Contact the Author
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